The Beer Goggles Strategy

My fundraising is now going well. In addition to the fantastic pledges of my work colleagues, many of my history buddies have also contributed to the pot.

I spent a very interesting evening in the Beer Tent at Herstmonceux Castle on Sunday Night - at England's Medieval Festival in Sussex.  I have trouble comprehending just how many people have been touched by cancer - so much that they will contribute to a localised hospital Chemo Unit - which is far away from where they live. As I said in my speech (short, succinct as all my speeches are..... No, really, they are..... Oy! Stop sniggering) I've lost far too many good friends to adequately describe how much it affects us, wherever we are in the UK. And so many more have been 'eaten', changed, or lost loved ones. The worry, the pain, the hardship, the despair, the ridiculous and bizarre outcomes (yep that's you my hairy soled friend) and the horrid side effects of the treatments - which is what the Chemo unit and their counterparts all over the world have to deal with.  All too much to bear.  So altogether a very worthy cause confirmed.

As I walked around the Beer Tent shaking my ..... Collecting tin, (stop it you lot) I collected not only coins and notes, but stories, and love, and gratitude. For my litle efforts seem very worthwhile all of a sudden. Eyes glisten. Sighs. Tales of hope.

And a few happy glances at my outfit. (Bosworth 2285 for those that remember it- (er - can you remember a date in the future?)). I guess an adjective would be 'voluptuous',  Happily, the word still exists and has not yet been banned by the thought police in favour of the 'mankini' and 'jeggings' - please see my facebook group 'Voluptuous is a wonderful word. Let's get it back in the Concise OED' and pledge your support there.....

This is where the beer goggles come in. I was advised by a very cheeky friend (female) to collect coins in the purposeful blue plastic collecting tin and keep all notes down the cleavage of a substantially structured leather corset. I didn't go that far (well it might be lost to the world down there!) but did notice a strong correlation between the amount contributed and the lateness of the evening. Gender was also a factor!  But there wasn't a lot of actual flesh on show, I promise.... No, really, there wasn't.... Honestly, you lot,!!!! There might have been a little dancing. There might have even been a few kissed cheeks. But the beer goggles were just looking  - and donations increased steadily throughout the evening.  So much so that the tin I carried to the end of the evening, had THREE TIMES the money of the one that went home earlier in the evening.  Well Girls - my advice for your future fundraising is

Flaunt it!

A photo to remember me by...

Reasons for not doing this...

Well firstly there is the jumpsuit.  Silly, I know, but I have a horror of jumpsuits that started when they were fashionable in the 1980s.  Mad things.  I never wore them then, and I certainly don't pull off the supermodel look now...

Made even the most svelte of figures look frumpy, like a reject from a bond-movie-villain’s-hideout/factory/space-station/science-lab.  Or a Hazmat worker, and those baddies in ET when they wrap the house in plastic and experiment on the unsuspecting alien…

Thanks to Pat Patrick for the photo of Bosworth 2285 - the Zombie Nerf Wars

I don't think that I will have to wear a dayglo yellow one.  Which is good.  It's not that I don't like dayglo yellow (in it's own environment), but I suspect I would look like a giant lemon, thrown out of a plane for not being suitable for the first class cabin's G&T.   No, a subtle blue or grey seems the norm from the photos I've seen. 

I did pull it off a few years back in khaki, when paintballing.  That one was fine, so I guess that they will have all sizes.  I just have a slight worry that I'll be the one who is in danger of splittage... not a nice thought.  Oh well, I better wear something decent underneath just in case.  That's the specially bought lacies out of the question then...

I'm the one in the camo.... take your pick...  the subtle pattern does hide lumps and bumps a bit - but we're not style icons now are we.  We're about to be shot with bullets of paint.  Painful bullets of paint, if I recall correctly.  My legs looked like a dalmation afterwards - although I have to say it was great fun - even if I was rubbbbbbbish at it.


In any case, I know that I’m not going to do much about the boiler suit in just a few weeks. The pound losing frenzy will help a little, but  I’d need to spend a lot longer than that to make much of a difference to the whole 'let's look good in the boiler suit' thing.  But it’s psychological.  If I’m smaller, I will look better.  There.  That’s honesty for you.  (or delusion, take your pick). 

I'll just have to be selective about which photos I post on Facebook.... Is that vanity or is it pride?  Both probably.  Or I could be doing a service to all those unsuspecting friends out there, who really don't need the sight of me in a one-piece.  There - my Pride is doing the world a service. Now on with the other 6 Deadly Sins....

Post Script:  Actually, having seen 6 rather brave ladies on a stage at the weekend, who I was informed by my son were bigger than me, flaunting rather a lot of flesh, I think I can do this, covered up, and with only an audience of some of my closest friends.  Bring on the Boiler Suit!

www.justgiving.com/fiona-boyle

Why am I here?

That's a very good question, and one I've thought about often.  Perhaps it's a mid life crisis.  Perhaps I've flipped.  Perhaps it's me sticking two fingers up at the vicious disease that has claimed good friends and given so many others such pain.

Probably all of the above.  I've thought about doing this for a while.  I love the air rush of a rollercoaster or a windy day.  I know it's nothing like that, and I know that when I do it, I may feel totally different about the whole thing.

This blog is about my journey.  I have to lose some weight to do it.  I also have to go through with it.  Simply have to.

Although as a friend reminded me yesterday - if anyone doesn't believe you will do it.... they really don't know you very well.  She knows me of old....

So this links to my justgiving page, and I hope that you can help me achieve my dream.

http://www.justgiving.com/Fiona-Boyle

To Ifibidey and Beyond!
(explanations to follow in a later post.....)